She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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