Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
BRING THE BAGELS
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
