fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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