Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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