she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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