i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
