Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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