ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Green mimosas i think yes
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
