The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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