I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
