Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
try to milk me bitch
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