i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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