U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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