never play flip cup with pint glasses
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize