He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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