I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize