shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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