i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
