What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
