Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize