So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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