do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm both gender and math confused
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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