I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
