I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
