Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
