we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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