vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize