so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
