My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
