yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
