She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
