I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
