Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
