he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize