what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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