I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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