I just threw up on my dentist
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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