1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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