What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
