He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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