I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
