My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
