does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
