I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Randomize
