Don't you send me to vm
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
did you just send me my own nude
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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