Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
