In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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