Me. At least after what I've been through.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
