hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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