I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
