Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We had to coat check the pizza.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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