They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
