they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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