is your mom at the bar?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
