Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize