Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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