Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
