You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
