You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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